The Questions You Wish You Could Ask Your OB Between Appointments

Written by Dr. Bill Chun, OB/GYN with 35+ years of experience
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Something happens around 2 a.m. in the middle of pregnancy. You notice something — a new sensation, a number on the scale, a line in a pregnancy app — and your mind starts moving fast. By morning, you have a real question. But your next OB appointment is three weeks away.
 

In my 35 years of practicing obstetrics in Boston, I have heard some version of this story from almost every patient. The questions you wish you could ask your OB during pregnancy are often the most important ones. The trouble is timing. Appointments are scheduled around clinical milestones, not around the questions that surface at midnight.

This post is for the questions that pile up between visits.

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Why Expecting Parents Often Hold Back Their Questions

There is a dynamic that happens in the exam room that I have noticed over decades of practice. A patient has six questions when they walk in. By the time we are done with vitals and measurements, they remember two. They leave with the other four still unasked.

Part of this is time. A standard prenatal visit is short, often 10 to 15 minutes once you are past the early appointments. Part of it is hesitation. Patients sometimes worry their question is too small, too obvious, or too anxious. It is not.

What I tell my patients: 

Heavy bleeding, severe abdominal pain, a headache that does not go away with rest, significant swelling of the face or hands, fever, reduced fetal movement, painful urination, or anything that feels acutely wrong to you. Trust your clinical instincts here, not in the "trust your body" sense, but in the practical sense... you know when something has changed.

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The Questions That Come Up Most Often

Over the years, patterns emerge. Certain questions come up again and again. Here are the ones I hear most:

"Is this symptom normal?"

This is the most common category. Nausea, spotting, pelvic pressure, shortness of breath, headaches...expecting parents want to know what is expected and what warrants a call. (We cover this in depth in Blog 2 of this series.)

"What should I be eating right now?"

Nutrition questions are constant. ACOG (the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists) provides general guidance on prenatal nutrition, but every pregnancy is different. Your own clinician can tailor recommendations to your history and bloodwork.

"How much weight should I have gained by now?"

Weight gain in pregnancy is individual. Guidelines vary based on your starting weight. This is a question worth asking directly, not searching for in a generic calculator.

"What is this test for, and do I really need it?"

Prenatal testing can feel like an assembly line. Patients often leave not fully understanding what was ordered or why. Write this one down every time a new test is scheduled.

"What warning signs should I watch for?"

Every expecting parent should know the signs that require an immediate call to their provider. These include heavy bleeding, severe headache with vision changes, decreased fetal movement after 28 weeks, and signs of preterm labor (early labor before 37 weeks). Your provider should walk you through these... if they have not, ask.

"What happens if something goes wrong?"

This is the question people are afraid to ask out loud. It is also one of the most important. Knowing what to do, who to call, and where to go is practical preparation, not pessimism.

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How to Make the Most of Every Appointment

A prenatal appointment is a short window. Here is how to use it well.

Arrive with a written list. Three to five questions is a manageable number. If you have more, star the most urgent ones.

Be direct. "I have a few questions I want to make sure we get to before I leave." Most providers welcome this.

Ask about next steps. At the end of every visit, confirm when you will be seen again, what tests are coming, and what would prompt you to call sooner.

Ask about after-hours guidance. What is the protocol if something comes up at 11 p.m.? Know the answer before you need it.

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What To Do With Questions That Come Up Between Visits

Even when you do everything right, questions will surface between appointments. Some of them can wait. Some cannot.

Questions that can wait for your next visit:

General nutrition concerns, minor discomforts you are managing, questions about birth preferences or hospital logistics, questions about what to pack.

Questions that should prompt a call today:

Heavy bleeding, severe abdominal pain, a headache that does not go away with rest, significant swelling of the face or hands, fever, reduced fetal movement, painful urination, or anything that feels acutely wrong to you. Trust your clinical instincts here — not in the "trust your body" sense, but in the practical sense...you know when something has changed.

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Pregnancy comes with thousands of questions. Empowering Pregnancy gives expecting parents OB-guided education, trimester-specific resources, calming tools, and a supportive community so you feel prepared and confident throughout pregnancy.

Explore Empowering Pregnancy Here

As always, the information here is general education. Please bring your specific questions and concerns to your own OB or midwife, who knows your history and can give you individualized guidance.

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Helpful Resources

• Read More on the Dr. Bill Chun Blog
• Visit Our Homepage
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